Okay!  So, when it started, I was very excited (well, of course, after the excessive one-month-long advertisement period…) and had high hopes.  It leapt straight into the action, beginning with the arrival of the Visitors’ spaceships above all major cities and the consequent chaos and disruption.  So the humans are all waiting, scared out of their wits, for something bad to happen.  And what do you know — a lovely woman appears on the panel-screens of the ships’ undersides and tells them all they come in peace and that they hope to be great allies, blah blah blah.  Of course, Americans being Americans, they applaud.  Yes, THEY APPLAUDED.  You’ll just have to take my word for it that the woman’s speech was IN NO WAY INSPIRATIONAL, HEART-STOPPING, AWE-INSPIRING (ETC.) WHATSOEVER.

Not only did that sudden spate of applause ruin the “OMGWTF”-ness of the moment, it made me wonder how amazingly gullible people could be.

Now we cut across to the woman amidst a crowd of journalists, about to meet the UN.  The first audible question the audience hears is, “Are all Visitors as beautiful as you?” or something to that effect.  That is amazingly typical, reminiscent of old vampire tales, and already gives some predictability to the story.  Even from the trailers, I could tell that the downfall of humankind would be in part due to the irresistible “BEAUTY” of these Visitors.  And one of the main teenage characters goes right ahead and proves me correct within half an hour.

It also seems that, like vampires, these Visitors have some sort of supernatural ability.  As well as superior technology (because all invading species MUST have superior technology), they are revealed to be reptilian and stronger than the average human if their combat skills are anything to go by.

Come to think of it, ‘vampire’ and ‘Visitor’ both start with ‘V’.  Suspicious, much?

To make matters worse, the director decides to insert a time skip less than 20 minutes into the episode.  If you want to wow audiences, YOU DO NOT PUT A TIME SKIP IN THE FIRST EPISODE.  Wasn’t this supposed to be a drama?  Is not drama supposed to be sustained throughout?  That time skip only serves to make viewers displaced from events.  They will think, “What happened in those three weeks?” (that was the length of this time skip).  This is used to make the audience hang on the edge of their seats and wonder what changes have occurred, but is only effective ONCE YOU HAVE BUILT UP THE AUDIENCES EMPATHY/SYMPATHY WITH THE CHARACTERS — something impossible/extremely hard to do in the space of 20 minutes.  In the end, all I felt were the events drawing themselves out tortuously as I waited for something to happen.

I’m sad to say that in one hour, absolutely nothing happened to impress me.

This does not bode well for the rest of the series.  If the pilot episode flopped, what about the rest?  I will watch the rest of this series…but only because I am intrigued by the plot.  Screenplay, cinematography, character development…none of that has drawn me as yet.

V — I hope to see an improvement.  If not, you will lose one more viewer.  Channel 9 — I have nothing to say to you.

~~~~~
On a side note, biology wise: the Visitors’ ships hovering above each city deprive a rather large area of sunlight which is vital for plants’ survival.  If they’ve been hovering for three weeks without moving, I would think the plants would die.  But no, for dramatic effect, they MUST remain where they are and damn the environment!  (Typical of an American city like New York.  “Plants?  What are plants?”)

Acting was just as bad as the previous movie. I personally think they’re all descendants of Nicole Kidman. Or maybe Kidman is a vampire herself! o_o

On what you could maybe just -possibly- call the ‘positive’ side, there was five times the kissing. I believe it was three times between Bella and Edward and maybe twice with Bella and Jacob. That’s a ratio of 1:5, people. Improvement, no? The crowds are going to love it!

And quite honestly, I was expecting more handsome people to be the Volturi. The only pretty person was Jane.

I would like to point something out to the director — vampires do not spontaneously heal (or crack, for that matter). Werewolves do. Besides which, it seems Edward transferred his spontaneous healing to the marble floor, because I do believe that there was a huge crack where his head hit it just a few moments ago.

Plus, if Bella slams into Edward, you’d think she’d be knocked back because he’s described as a God-damned statue (quite literally? *hint hint*). But no, it’s Edward who falls back, after regaling us with his really out-of-place sparkling. And while we’re on that subject, did Meyer intend her vampires to look like faceted rocks or have smooth skin? You only get sparkles if rocks have facets, which implies roughness. I’m pretty sure Bella describes Edward as having smooth skin. (Feel free to correct me on that though. Too lazy to check my e-book version.)

Now I’m going into trivial details, but a paper cut does not warrant a full-on bleed-out — unless you cut an artery. But how often does paper cut that deeply? (I can hear the retaliation: BUT IT’S BELLA! SHE’S DAMN CLUMSY!) This is more a criticism of the author, but that was a pathetic excuse for Jasper to lose control, Meyer. At least get her to cut herself on the BIRTHDAY CAKE KNIFE!

The CG may have been better, but giant wolves will always look like plastic, computer-generated giant wolves. At least the movement scenes were better.

What else…oh yes: Edward Cullen’s hairy, half-naked body complete with malformed nipple? I kid you not. Whoever told me about it knows who they are. *glares* Anyway, so once I got over witnessing first hand on the big screen this giant doohickey, the entire movie audience was treated to a spectacular strip-off courtesy of Robert Pattinson. But I have to point out that his pelvis bones were very prominent. I’ll leave it to you to deduce where I’m sure many people’s minds wandered to after that.

Not to mention Bella, who, I’m sure, ‘accidentally’ left the top buttons of her blouse undone. So more fanservice for the audience as she ran desperately to save her love from committing suicide.

Now a comment on the audience. I’m glad they were appreciative of the heap of fanservice lavished upon them. They giggled every time someone began to strip off their shirt. But…did they have to be so damn noisy? Even before the movie started, three mobile phones went off, and I saw one girl listening to her mp3/iPod. And during the opening credits, for a good half-hour or so, chip packets, popcorn boxes and lolly-wrappers were rustled CONSTANTLY.

So. I survived that pithole. 2012 seems like an appropriate year, because I’m sure that’s when the finale of the Twilight ‘Saga’ will premiere. And then the world will end.

So, what did I think of the musical?  The only minor issue I had with it was that Sebastian’s voice was surprisingly high compared to the anime’s voice actor.  Not that it was a bad thing.  The stage actor pulled off Sebastian splendidly, though I observed a small strut in his walk (which is unbecoming of a servant of the Phantomhive household  O=).  Grell was as crazy and gay as ever (literally), and Agni and Soma make an unexpected visit during the latter third of the musical.  I’m still trying to ascertain the reason for their appearance.  Otherwise, it was filled with laughs with the occasional magic trick which of course can only be pulled off by a certain person…

Sebastian and Ciel -- aren't they pretty~?

In other news: I’m not going to upload YouTube videos of Darker than Black II any more because they keep getting deleted (plus I’m too lazy to search for replacements  -_-”).  However, download links will still be put up on the DtB page.

But now David has announced his departure from the popular show to pursue his acting career with the Royal Shakespeare Company.  The BBC have announced his replacement to be Matt Smith — little-known footballer, well-known actor!

And so 2010 will see the era of a brand-new Doctor, brand-new companion, brand-new Tardis!  Oh, and also a brand-new logo!  Check it out:

Featuring a black background and 'DW' arranged in the likeness of the Tardis.

And so it seems by this style that the Doctor Who team are going back to the good old days of minimalism.  Not that it’s a bad thing, but the costume choice and image presented by Karen Gillan leaves something to be desired.  She leaves the distinct impression of Rose Tyler, companion to the 10th Doctor through New Who’s season 1 and 2.  And to be honest, Matt Smith looked much better in his promo photos with a dark suit.  Not tweed.

http://www.animetake.com/kuroshitsuji-ova/

This movie seems like one of the average END OF THE WORLD drama epics. Drama being MELODRAMA and epic being EPIC FAIL. The film is built on the premise of the Aztec calendar which does not go beyond its 13th cycle. That date is the 21st of December, 2012. This has lead to the question: If the calendar doesn’t continue, what will follow?

All sorts of events are set to happen on or around this fateful date. They’ve been piling up for years, accelerated by mankind’s carelessness, no doubt — or is it fate? Nevertheless, we arel all going to pay the price.

The ENTREE:
The eruption of the Yellowstone supervolcano (yes, SUPERvolcano: that means the ENTIRE WORLD will be covered in thick ash which will effectively block out the sun). Every plant will die, animals will die after them, and coral bleaching will cease to be a problem. As will the protection of endangered species.

The melting of the polar ice caps as a result of the warming of the planet. This will lead to flooding, tsunamis and the invasion of ravenous sea creatures. …Just kidding — the Japanese (helped by the Chinese) will devour every one of them long before they reach other countries.

The gravitational pull caused by Galactic Alignment on that day will effectively pull our crust and possibly trigger devastating earthquakes. For those who don’t know, the Alignment is when the Sun is right in the centre of the Milky Way (TAKE THAT, PTOLEMY!). This gravitational pull and the increase in solar radiation will weaken the molten layers in our Earth and cause the crust to shift more easily. Oh yes: and this will cause more than one supervolcano to erupt. So Yellowstone is really the least of our worries.

The MAIN COURSE:
With life as we know it dying left, right and centre, it will only be a matter of time before humans follow them. This cycles of death will last for as long as the predicted volcanic ash smothers our atmosphere plus the time it takes for plants to grow and animals to rediscover the evolutionary path. Not to mention that with all of our technology rendered useless by earthquakes and tsunamis humans will have to devolve into cavemen. All modes of transport IRONically become obsolete (pun intended) — where are you going to go without roads? It’s time to put those 4-Wheel Drives to the test, guys. …Hang on, there’s no petrol! Tough luck.

And no, Pauline Hanson: we cannot just “create more money animals”.

The DESSERT:
So after surviving polymer cracking on a large scale, being doused with the largest Wet ‘n’ Wild water bucket of this millenium, and forcing ourselves to forsake foundation and blusher for good ol’ mud, where does that leave us? If you’re alive, the answer should be obvious: YOU’RE ALIVE, DAMNIT! ISN’T THAT GOOD ENOUGH? I know it’s tempting to commit suicide because you couldn’t save a few hundred billion people, but hey: we need some people to repopulate this Earth, you know? Don’t give me that look! If Adam and Eve can do it, you can too.

Now for a look at the movie itself. It is directed by Roland Emmerich (The Day After Tomorrow, Independence Day), so you can see this film will be epic in American proportions and just as…patriotic.

Cast includes:

• John Cusack — Your average “Joe”, Jackson Curtis
• Danny Glover — One of the OLD, WISE, MEN also known as “The President of the US”
• Thandie Newton — A tool to show that yes, the president can be compassionate…sometimes.
• Amanda Peet — Wife to Jackson Curtis, another tool to show men have something to die for.
• Oliver Platt — The pompous rich guy who is needed to contrast with the HERO.
• Woody Harrelson — Thrown in because every Doomsday movie needs a prophet. And someone to say “I told you so.”

Of course, like all good END OF THE WORLD films, the American president must come to the aid of their *cough* helpless allies. (Why didn’t they ask Iraq to use their “weapons of mass destruction” on those aliens anyway…?) This isn’t the first time this has happened. And frankly, if any leader could do that now, they would have the respect of the nation whether they lived or died. (George Bush, I’m looking at you…)

So now we’ve established the end of the world, what’s left to do? Make the most of what could be your last moments? Spend the time up until the impending disaster stockpiling food, water, and general bomb-shelter-esque supplies? Alternately, you could do nothing and sit around laughing with a few of your best mates and sharing a beer on the 25th of December 2012, saying, “Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!”

http://www.xkcd.com/626/