Colour scheme was as I expected — brown, brown and…tanned, half naked bodies. (I.e. BROWN)
Acting was just as bad as the previous movie. I personally think they’re all descendants of Nicole Kidman. Or maybe Kidman is a vampire herself! o_o
On what you could maybe just -possibly- call the ‘positive’ side, there was five times the kissing. I believe it was three times between Bella and Edward and maybe twice with Bella and Jacob. That’s a ratio of 1:5, people. Improvement, no? The crowds are going to love it!
And quite honestly, I was expecting more handsome people to be the Volturi. The only pretty person was Jane.
I would like to point something out to the director — vampires do not spontaneously heal (or crack, for that matter). Werewolves do. Besides which, it seems Edward transferred his spontaneous healing to the marble floor, because I do believe that there was a huge crack where his head hit it just a few moments ago.
Plus, if Bella slams into Edward, you’d think she’d be knocked back because he’s described as a God-damned statue (quite literally? *hint hint*). But no, it’s Edward who falls back, after regaling us with his really out-of-place sparkling. And while we’re on that subject, did Meyer intend her vampires to look like faceted rocks or have smooth skin? You only get sparkles if rocks have facets, which implies roughness. I’m pretty sure Bella describes Edward as having smooth skin. (Feel free to correct me on that though. Too lazy to check my e-book version.)
Now I’m going into trivial details, but a paper cut does not warrant a full-on bleed-out — unless you cut an artery. But how often does paper cut that deeply? (I can hear the retaliation: BUT IT’S BELLA! SHE’S DAMN CLUMSY!) This is more a criticism of the author, but that was a pathetic excuse for Jasper to lose control, Meyer. At least get her to cut herself on the BIRTHDAY CAKE KNIFE!
The CG may have been better, but giant wolves will always look like plastic, computer-generated giant wolves. At least the movement scenes were better.
What else…oh yes: Edward Cullen’s hairy, half-naked body complete with malformed nipple? I kid you not. Whoever told me about it knows who they are. *glares* Anyway, so once I got over witnessing first hand on the big screen this giant doohickey, the entire movie audience was treated to a spectacular strip-off courtesy of Robert Pattinson. But I have to point out that his pelvis bones were very prominent. I’ll leave it to you to deduce where I’m sure many people’s minds wandered to after that.
Not to mention Bella, who, I’m sure, ‘accidentally’ left the top buttons of her blouse undone. So more fanservice for the audience as she ran desperately to save her love from committing suicide.
Now a comment on the audience. I’m glad they were appreciative of the heap of fanservice lavished upon them. They giggled every time someone began to strip off their shirt. But…did they have to be so damn noisy? Even before the movie started, three mobile phones went off, and I saw one girl listening to her mp3/iPod. And during the opening credits, for a good half-hour or so, chip packets, popcorn boxes and lolly-wrappers were rustled CONSTANTLY.
So. I survived that pithole. 2012 seems like an appropriate year, because I’m sure that’s when the finale of the Twilight ‘Saga’ will premiere. And then the world will end.
